What I'm Reading 2021: Loose Gravel by Ginny Fanthome

I received a random email from the author in which I was invited to review this book in the hopes of producing some positive press.

Here's what I came up with:

Loose Gravel by Ginny Fanthome – A Punk Band’s Blood, Sweat and Tears

Few fictional stories are written about the nightmare of being a musician in a band doing one nighters touring across the continent in a van. If you have been there and done that my guess is that it’s a memory you try to blot out of your mind. Also you are probably in your fifties by now.

Breaking news: the music business changed. Now there is no cash for anybody. Small and mid-sized town bars are poor. No money is left to pay bands doing one-nighters. Even back in The Day, ie. the era in which Loose Gravel takes place, there was barely enough money to cover the band’s gas, meals, and a poor performance fee. Accommodation was out of the question, hence sleeping in the van. And yet, bands could make a go of it if they didn’t self-destruct or kill each other.

We paid our dues, but very few actually made a career out of music. Hardly anyone even made a living wage.

To add to the suffering, the pandemic has kicked the music biz while it was already down. Beginning bands, one nighters, touring … the dream is dead.

We of the “older generation” have forgotten how bad life on the road was, and what we were willing to put up with to play. A fucking grind, it was. 

But I wouldn’t change a thing, because in the midst of all the idiocy there were life lessons. Loose Gravel has brought it all back. Therefore it is a worthwhile read.

Loose Gravel by Ginny Fanthome is a brutally honest, realistic yet fictional look at touring and playing in a punk band doing one night stands. The band’s name is Spooge. The four members are Steve: super-talented gay guy of Asian race who happens to sing and put on a good show; Marcus: A super smart, witty, closet writer/asshole and womanizer who happens to play guitar; Lion: A tall, tough dude from a poor and shitty childhood who thinks he’s Sam’s boyfriend who happens to play bass; and Sam: The chick drummer who has a heart of gold and a clear mind despite wrestling with her own demons.

The story is told from Sam’s perspective.

Loose Gravel thoroughly explores the personalities and relationships of the four bandmates. To sum it up: There is always much brokenness, but hope springs eternal.

Spooge is on an odyssey, an entry-level opportunity where the musicians will travel and sleep in the van to save money. They will sleep with their gear unless they can scrounge some sort of better sleeping arrangement. As they drive to the next gig they pray that the driver will stay awake and that the van will keep on running. They will try to give each other space. Of course, people will be inconsiderate; tempers will flare. Mix in some booze and fists will fly.

There is never a dull moment in Loose Gravel. It is a fun read, but it is much more than just the craziness of life on the road. Fantholme in telling the story through Sam’s eyes has carefully woven a thread of hope into the story. It’s all about relationships.

I enjoyed how Sam’s hopeful and reflective nature, particularly her compassion, developed as the tour’s chaos churned on, and I was happy to see how she did not stay down when knocked over emotionally. And believe me, there were some hard knocks! 

Loose Gravel is a reminder that every person has their own struggles and backstory, and how being on the road makes it possible to meet and even try to help all kinds of needy people.

Each of Sam’s bandmates show some growth, providing a few more glimmers of hope as the story developed. Loose Gravel didn’t have a perfect happily-ever-after ending, but I was left feeling satisfied.

Kudos to Ginny Fanthome. Loose Gravel is a gem of a story and would be a welcome addition to the musician lore section of any book collection.

Book and Podcast: Jesus and John Wayne – How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation

I admit that my training with the Navigators is right in line with this. Navigators founder Dawson Trotman was touted as a tough heroic figure. His drowning was shared like a legend. The key leaders of the campus Nagivators movement that were our guest speakers at Glen Eyrie Discipleship Training were of the same ilk. They were tough dudes. Many of them military vets. The were guys guys. 

Let me tell you, if one of the young women at those training sessions argued for equality in leadership the whole leadership team would have come down all around them. They could have brought the entire fucking discipleship training to a screeching halt. Those young women could have had those old Navigators running round holding their dicks. 

How sad, that many of them did not see what was happening. And how sad for me, that at the time I didn't think it was okay for a young woman to be lesbian, or for guys to be gay. Hence my complete and utter confusion and my pathetic inability to process what was happening when I learned that some of my co-leader young women were, in fact, gay. Or they were struggling as leaders. They were "having trouble" or they were "struggling" in some way. But lots of hush hush, etc. 

For fuck's sake, one of our new young leaders in Sudbury ended up being convicted of child molesting.

My leader of my Lessons On Assurance bible study (BS for short) as a new believer was a Navigator staff member. He ended up being unfaithful to his wife and got divorced. Same thing happened to another long time staffer; his wife had an affair.

The failings and weakness, hell the outright humanity, of Christian leaders and workers in my Evangelical circles were like warning lights on the dashboard. But I wasn't ready to take it in. I was complicit because I was getting something helpful out of the church. 

But it wasn't God. 

It was an authoritarian, male-centred, comfort community.

It would be another twenty years before the scales fell away from my eyes and I was able to see things as they were. Just a bunch of useless, stupid people acting like they care for other people and acting like they love God and Jesus while in reality they were just full of shit.

Here is the podcast link:

https://lukejjanssen.files.wordpress.com/2021/07/48-kristin-du-mez.mp3

The Evangelical Christian church has become unplugged and detached from the theological basis for its existence and has replaced it with a cultural/political identity that is basically a lie and a distortion.

How can a believer in an evangelical church stay there when they realize that they are being sold out in terms of their standing as human beings?

For example, women in evangelical circles women are absolutely barred from holding ministry leadership roles. They can't take leadership roles where they would take authority. Women find it that they can't bring their whole selves to church. And they are okay with it. They swallow the kool-ade.

Boys and Girls clubs. Cadets for boys and Calvinettes for girls. The girls learned how to pick fashionable colours that match their hair, and do crafts. The boys would go out a learn survival skills. They would march into their meetings, etc. Structure, authority, expectations and gender distinctions ruled the day.

The concept of obedience is central to Evangelicalism but it is abused. There is a flawed power dynamic. The idea of submission to authority is a big deal. If you don't submit to the (men) in charge, then how can you be respecting God's authority? goes the saying.

Who gets to wield authority? Only men. The evangelical church is authoritarian and sexist.

So what then is the lifeline to faith for an honest and "woke" evangelical church-goer? How do we deal with a new awareness of our own complicity in going along with so many lies and distortions? Why would anybody be so comfortable in an obviously historically false institution? 

Where are the evangelical leaders who are trying to make corrections as leaders? Where are the introspections where leaders explore their complicity?

Can evangelicalism be saved or reformed? Not likely.

"Powerful evangelical men giving each other cover. When they really need to use their leadership to call things out, they don't. The tension between the mainstream leadership and the fringe is huge."

Evangelicalism is not christianity. And yet evangelicals have been taught to defend the institution. Why the effort to save a denomination that clearly has lost its way?

One solution may be to travel to where christianity is flourishing, whether it is in the same city or another country.

"Jesus doesn't need your protection, nor does your denomination."

Why do we even need to have this special category of christian believer called Evangelical? 

I say it's time for the evangelicals to walk away. Leave the fucking church empty just like the pandemic.

Summer reading #6

The author perfectly illustrates how the long-term presence of a performing musical group results in boosting of academic performance across the curriculum. The key idea here is that the musicians are employed NOT just as a one-off entertainment event that pulls kids out of class and into a school assembly, etc. Rather, and this is the key difference, the musicians are involved with the teachers on a long term basis. They sit down with the teacher and plan how their musical activity and the music itself can be used to teach and connect with a wide variety of the school curriculue. For example, concept of patterning in mathematics can be very abstract and difficult to grasp for even the brightest mind. But, when the concept of patterning is illustrated in musical forms and rhythms, there is an instant connection. Likewise, social skills are hard to see as relevant when taught in isolation, but when students understand, see and hear the give and take and sharing/synergy that happens in a musical ensemble, not only in the rehearsal process but in the performance itself, they get it: social skills are the very tools of "life performance," just like musicianship is the basic tool of musical performance. There are hundreds of other equally powerful ways that a musical ensemble can deeply enrich a school program IF (and this is the big if) the teachers and musicians share the responsibility and opportunity to bring their music to the service of all learning, and if the musicians and teachers are willing to be involved in the project on a long-term basis. (At least a full school year, if not two or three.)

I need to read this book again and again. Perhaps then, I will find the courage to try some of these ideas in his own classroom, in partnership with other musicians and teachers.
Five stars out of five.

Summer reading #5

After visiting Newfoundland this past July, it made sense to wrap my head around this important part of the province's history. The one thing that sticks out to me is how close I came to seeing some of the bad policies in action, even though it is 10 years after the cod fishery was stopped. This is a picture of a shrimp boat, heading out of Twillingate Harbour. There are about half a dozen of these big boats working out of Twillingate. They are the mainstay of the harbour activity these days. Problem: The shrimp boats use huge, weighted "dragger" type nets that scrape along the bottom and scoop up everything off the ocean floor, because that is where the shrimp are feeding. It is this very same kind of big boat, government subsidized dragging that killed off the huge numbers of cod in the 80s. Because the gov't gave in to political pressure to help make it happen, all in the name of jobs for Newfoundlanders, the cod fishery was ruined. The draggers dig up the plant and animal detritus that is the basis of the food chain for cod and other species. Now, ironically, the same destructive, dragging method is being used to harvest shrimp, which is even more valuable than cod once were. Hello people? The cod used to eat the shrimp. Now that the cod are gone, you are taking all the shrimp! Will there ever be a chance for the species to renew itself?

Alex Rose says the answer will take political will-power, and a renewal of Newfoundlanders' philosophy of the future: A ban on all habitat-destroying fishing methods, a possible middle term ban on all fishing, and then a move into a quota-based system. Newfoundlanders need to envision a future that is not built around taking and taking and taking. They need to diversify into methods of renewal and enterpreneurship in other sectors. Tourism is one example.

I am now more aware of the issues facing the global fishing business. There is more demand for fish than ever before, and more habitat destruction and deep ocean renegade fishing practices than ever before. National governments need to put fisheries on their agenda right up beside global warming.
Three stars out of five. (A bit too repetitive; confusing in places; rambling in others.)

Summer reading #4

Mark Boyle, an Irishman living in England, spent a year without spending money, to try to show that money is actually not necessary for survival in the modern world. Underlying Boyle's adventure was a firm belief that money was, and is, a system of convenience. It served a good purpose at first, but eventually became an end in itself, with the added problem that it creates an illusion of security, where we no longer rely on personal relationships and good faith in our local community.

Boyle set himself up with some rules to guide his actions. One interesting rule is that he will not willingly use fossil fuels. Therefore he went off the hydro grid completely. There are many interesting facets to the outworking of that rule alone, well worth the read.

Boyle admits that dumpster diving is not a sustainable way to bolster what's in your pantry, but he explains that he feels responsible for reducing the amount of waste, which the retailers of food - who are out to make profit, and bound by arbitrary food freshness regulations - do not want people to know about.

Most of Boyle's food came from what he was able to grow himself, or barter for by volunteering to work on a local farm, or by foraging wild plants that often grow in our area, are edible and which we no nothing about. He is also a vegan.

For those of us interested in reducing our wastefulness, Boyle reminds us of the burgeoning "freeconomy" movement, which is based trade. Two examples of web sites devoted to this are justfortheloveofit.org and localskillswap.com.

Actually, I was inspired by some of the lessons Boyle learned along the way, one of which was to be less critical of the choices others make, and to really embrace the Pay it Forward philosophy. What Christians refer to as the providential grace of a personal God, Boyle understands as a general principal of the universe: if you give back to mother earth, and its creatures including people, then at the right moment it will give you what you need.

Not an exciting read, not for everyone, but very thought-provoking and full of gems!
4 stars out of 5

Summer reading #3

The book reads like watching the movie: you switch from one chase/fight scene to the next; you're always wondering, "who is this person? are they friend or foe?" The Bourne Dominion was worth the read, keeping me in suspense to the end, but not as thrilling as the fast paced movies. A gift from my mother in law : )
3 stars out of 5

Summer Reading #1

Young is a new action-thriller author. His first full novel explores a realistic situation where an air force pilot is shot down while transporting a controversial, high-level mullah with terrorist connections. They end up being chased around the mountains of Afghanistan. It explores stereotypes and sheds light on the way trained soldiers think when under pressure.

3 stars out of 5

What the Heck am I Reading? - pt. 7

'Into The Wild' - Trailer 01 - Moviefone

Shared via AddThis

This was an audiobook, by Jon Krakauer. The true story is of a young guy named Chris McAndless who took seriously the idea of living simply and morally true by leaving material comforts behind and living off the wilderness in Alaska. Very touching, thought-provoking and inspiring story.
Perhaps someday I'll see the movie.

What the Heck am I reading? - pt. 6

I think when we look at the summer weather and say, "Doesn't this weather suck?" we should in the next breath be thinking about the Inuit who would be saying, "Doesn't this weather really suck?"The video gives you an idea of what he's writing about.

What the Heck am I reading? pt. 5

This one put me back into the sci/fi head space.

It's a bit old, but who cares, because the ideas are very intriguing. The reason I picked it up was because Allen Steele, author of Coyote, mentioned it in his reading lists at the back of his series.

It is economically feasible, for instance, to establish a fleet of low-orbital, reusable space craft for the purpose of travelling from place to place on earth. Can you imagine flying to Australia in 45 minutes?

The chapters on terraformation, or changing a planet to make it suitable for habitation, are really stretching my imagination. Who would have thought that Mars could become habitable if you could warm up the planet a few degrees using a giant mirror, and by adding greenhouse gases to the atmosphere?

What the Heck am I reading? pt. 4

Just finished this one last night. Another book about the Arctic, sailors and high adventure. What is it with me and the Arctic?

A great lesson on the changes wrought in Inuit life on Baffin Island during the great whaling era of the late 1800s. My sense of understanding about Inuit culture has greatly increased.

James Houston lived in the Arctic from 1948 to 1962, and was largely responsible for introducing Inuit art to the rest of the country. He has written several other books about his time in the Arctic.

What the Heck am I reading? pt. 3

I plowed into The Terror at the beginning of July, after coming across it on a random visit to Indigo. It was in the Horror section. I have this ongoing interest in The Arctic, and I blame it on my reading of The Arctic Grail by Pierre Berton. The book fantasizes about what really happened to the John Franklin expedition, whose ships, The Terror and Erebus vanished in the Arctic and has never been found, despite dozens of searches over the decades, and as recently as last year by a Canadian icebreaker.

All we know is that the crew starved slowly, agonizingly, and attempted to walk overland to the nearest fur-trading outpost in NWT, hundreds and hundreds of miles away. One look at the landscape of NWT on Google Earth will convince you that this is impossible! We also know that they were all being slowly poisoned with lead from their crappy tinned food. What we don't know is where the book begins.... an unknown creature is lurking on the ice and attacking the ships as they overwinter in the ice.

I like the ending of this book, which paints a very realistic view of the Inuit. It is a hopeful book, and an entertaining read.

What the Heck am I reading this summer? pt. 2.

Canadian history always suprises me. Or maybe it's just the way the Pierre Berton tells the story. After reading The National Dream and The Last Spike, I understand why we have a statue of Sir John A. MacDonald in Gore Park, Hamilton. The man almost killed himself healthwise over a period of about 20 years as he rode the political waves of getting the railway built.

The key to this story is that the railway had to be built entirely on Canadian soil, or else the commerce and flow of people to the expanding West would never have been controllable by the Canadian government. Many investors from the US had ideas about connecting the lines through the northern states, such as Minnesota, Wisconsin, N. Dakota, but due to the vision of the MacDonald government, and tons of political wrangling and controversy, the better plan prevailed. It was the plan that built Canada and knitted it together from Ontario to British Columbia.

The biggest earthly obstacle was the area of what is now Northern Ontario. Apparently, muskegs were so deep that they would swallow an entire causeway in a matter of minutes as the soft bottom gave way. What first looked like a rather simple, shallow landfill operation could ultimately consume weeks and months of engineering, resulting in huge cost overruns. (According to Jon Krakauer, muskeg is "the expanse of spongy, poorly drained, peat like organic matter overlaying a permanently frozen bog". A cousin of permafrost, muskeg raised havoc on ... the route. To avoid the loss of vehicles due to sinking, the engineers developed the use of "corduroy". Thousands of logs were scoured from nearby forests and placed crosswise. The highway was built atop the logs. Thus the weight of heavy vehicles was distributed evenly and the problem of sinking into the bogs was solved.)

Then, the whole matter of surveying a passage through the Rockies. Tons of money was spent sending survey crews into the wilderness, only to have an entirely different route chosen a decade later!

Here's the famous Last Spike photograph. Burn this picture in your heads, people. Canada is written all over it.



"The last spike joining the Canadian Pacific Railway was driven at Craigellachie, west of Revelstoke, on November 7, 1885. Sir Donald Smith is driving the spike, and standing just behind him is a lad by the name of Edward Mallandaine. Mallandaine was 17 years old at the time and had been running a pony express service between Sicamous and Revelstoke. He went on to found the town of Creston, B.C." [present day home of Kokanee brewery!]

What the Heck am I reading this summer?

I first read Coyote Horizon, then Coyote, then Coyote Frontier, now I'm working on Coyote Rising. Totally the wrong order but who cares!

I confess. I'm a science fiction/space exploration/interstellar travel nerd.

Everyone seems to equate Steele with Robert Heinlein, author of the Dune series. Sorry, but I haven't read those, but I did see part of the movie which appeared rather lame, but that's probably got nothing to do with the books.

One intriguing story from Coyote is about the guy who woke up from bio-stasis (suspended animation sleep-state) about 215 years earlier than the rest of the crew on the starship. He lived the next 32 years alone on the starship Alabama, trying not to go crazy. After going through almost all of the smuggled booze on board, and consuming about 20% of the food stores, he finally had an accident and fell down a passageway ladder. A bot picked up his body and jettisoned it through the air lock. When the remaining crew woke up years later they had to piece together what happened.

Turns out that what saved the man's sanity was the arts. He decided to start writing a book. Eventually he moved from writing to drawing and painting. In the end, he had covered the ship's interior with colourful illustrations and murals about his story. The thing I like about this is that the arts gave him a means of occupying his mind, and expressing himself, at a level other than human conversation. Art kept him sane like nothing else could.

With no one to talk to, what can a man's mind do? Arts fills the black hole of a man's mind, at least partly.